


Sparkly Barrettes

by FandomTrashbag



Series: Pieces of Cake [15]
Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: Birthday, Labyrinth: Coronation compliant, goblins give trash presents, surprise birthday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:34:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28728954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomTrashbag/pseuds/FandomTrashbag
Summary: Jareth has a very closely guarded secret and chaos ensues once Sarah finds it out.
Relationships: Jareth/Sarah Williams
Series: Pieces of Cake [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1772494
Kudos: 37





	Sparkly Barrettes

**Author's Note:**

> So, I started this on Bowie's birthday and just have been picking at it over the last few days.
> 
> Funny enough, someone in the LFFL group even asked about the kinds of gifts goblins might give, so I had already thought about the crap they'd collect. It's all more useless than a crow's collection of sparkly things, but I think he can see the value they do and appreciate it nonetheless.
> 
> Sarah is very smugly proud of herself, I assure you.

**Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.  
** **-David Bowie**

* * *

Today was a rather unique day.

Today was the 231st birthday of a very dramatic monarch that thought he had, rather successfully, managed to hide this particular detail from those around them. He should have known better, cosying up with Sarah-bloody-Williams for the last decade and a half. Mortals and their penchants for empty celebration.

At least, he understood it as empty. While he still was not fond of marking this passage of time, perhaps the cold tip of his heart where he stored such things might thaw just a little. Maybe. He’d… consider it. He’d put it on the list of things to consider. After a few more decades.

* * *

“Let’s go out, tonight,” Sarah said, not looking up from her computer screen or even bothering to stop typing.

Jareth, taking a rather quiet break from running a kingdom filled with the equivalent of hairy toddlers that carried a wide range of smells, cracked open an eye to stare at the back of her chair. His position on the lounge by the window afforded him no view of the brunette plucking away at her keyboard; the large wing-back she used at her desk here sufficiently hid her entire frame from him.

“Out? Where on earth would we go? Have you forgotten just where we are? Do you really want to spend the evening dancing and drinking with goblins after the mess today has already been?” he mumbled at her, clearly not a fan of the idea.

He could hear her laugh before she popped her head around the edge of the chair.

“That’s just it. We’ll go Above for a change of scenery. There’s some place Toby found and emailed me about; sounds like a fun time. We’ll get dinner and maybe go dancing and drink with the boring mortal folk.” Her tone was a little hopeful, clearly trying to persuade him.

Well… it _had_ been a few weeks since they’d managed any time to really go Above. He hadn’t stepped foot outside of her condo for months, only even going there to see her while she worked in relative peace during the day. This was the first working day she’d managed at the castle lately, finally catching up to the end of her deadline. Maybe stepping out would be a nice break from the chaos of late.

She unfolded herself from her big chair, closing her computer as she did so. Her knees bumped the leg he’d left hanging over the edge and he peeked up at her out from under the arm draped across his face.

“C’mon. We could use it.”

He covered himself back up and half turned his head away from her in dismissal.

“I’m bloody tired and the day is barely half done,” he said into the crook of his elbow. 

A weight settled along the edge of the lounge as Sarah very precariously balanced herself to not roll off the narrow furniture. His free arm came down to wrap around her shoulders and roll her across his side so she lay more solidly; her own arm draped around his waist in response.

“That’s why we’ll nap now,” she said a little drowsily, snuggling herself into him.

“Mmm,” he sighed through his nose before settling into a light sleep.

Honestly, he should have been suspicious later when he arrived at the throne room that evening. He looked up from adjusting the buttons on his sleeve cuffs and arched a sleek eyebrow in curiosity. It wasn’t that Sarah and his unique citizens never interacted; they were actually quite fond of her (not that he could blame them seeing as he was desperately in love, himself). It was more that she had been crouched down and whispering in a manner that seemed almost conspiratorial to a small knobby thing with a copper-bottom pot on their head (the plot would, indeed, prove to be a dire betrayal that would test the limits of his aforementioned love). The whispers abruptly stopped as he came through the archway and she stood, smoothing her pants as she did so.

She put on a radiant smile and his misgivings evaporated. He watched as she picked a stray piece of straw from her burgundy pants and walked towards him.

“Don’t you look sharp, Mr. Regular Mortal Man,” she said affectionately, appreciating his charcoal dress shirt and black glen check pants. “Though I do have the sudden impulse to get you a pretty barrette.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and tugged playfully at his shoulder-length locks, half tied up with a leather cord.

“Only if it has glitter,” he teased back. “Are you ready to go be human?”

“Absolutely. Whisk us away, Magic Man.” She laughed as he rolled his eyes and reality shifted and blurred and morphed into a darkened corner near a rather loud pub. Irish drinking songs were pouring out the open door, sung by an entire establishment of people in various states of inebriation.

Jareth smiled at her warmly. “I am woefully overdressed for a place like this,” he chided gently.

She laughed and tugged him toward the door. “You’re _always_ overdressed, in my opinion. Far too much clothing in general. It's becoming a strain on our relationship.”

His hands bracketed her waist as he ushered them inside. “I’ll certainly do my best to remedy that,” he whispered in her ear, his fingers lingering as he pulled away when they sat in a high-backed corner booth.

The evening was spent in casual and bawdy revelry. They ate hearty meals, drank a few pints, and eventually mingled with the other patrons. As Sarah had promised, there was plenty of very loud singing and dancing. Towards the end of the evening, she stepped away to use the bathroom and paused in the doorway coming back. She just lurked a little, watching him interact so easily with regular humans. He was a pompous asshole, sure, but he was comfortable pretending to be ordinary once in a while. She liked to think it was a bit subconscious, missing out on the Human Experience the first time around; he got much more of it through her these last years. A smile drew the corners of her mouth up as she watched him teaching a few loose and slightly-sultry dance moves to a younger fellow. His eyes caught hers across the crowded pub as his hips wiggled just so and she couldn’t stop herself from laughing. 

_Get him just a bit drunk and he devolved into quite a teenager; I just can’t take him anywhere_ , she thought.

He scooted his way across the room, never breaking eye contact and continuing his wiggling to the beat of the band on stage. When he reached her, he smiled wickedly, pulling her back out towards the dance floor with extended arms and working the rhythm into her. She laughed out loud, allowing herself to be tugged close and he wrapped her arms around his waist, snaking his own around her shoulders. The danced a little while longer, his voice raspy as it whispered terribly unfunny jokes he’d heard throughout the night into her ear.

Her face hurt from laughing and she pulled back to lay her hand against his cheek affectionately. He leaned into it, nuzzling a little in a feline manner.

“Alright, your Majesty,” she said quietly to him, the words floating under the music on the air. “Let’s go home. I’ve got something for you there.”

The gleam in his eyes turned mischievous. “Really, _Precious_?” he purred, using that pet name she only half-hated.

She waggled her eyebrows at him, playing along with his completely inaccurate (for once) train of thought. She pressed sweet, close-lipped kiss to the corner of his mouth. “C’mon,” she urged, craning her head towards the door.

After a few moments, he acquiesced, following her towards the door. He tried to convince her that going to her apartment (it was always hers, no matter how long they kept it; that condo was always her space) would be much faster, but she firmly insisted on going home (for that’s truly how she saw that old crumbly castle). It was as easy as walking through one doorway and it melted into a sandstone arch. She subtly steered him toward the throne room with repeated mumblings of a surprise.

Outside the closed and heavy wooden doors, she stopped him, lifting her hands to cover his eyes.

“Really, Sarah. What on earth is going on?” His voice proved his sobering state as a seriousness crept into his tone.

“Just trust me, geeze,” she said dismissively, walking him forward as the doors opened. “Aaaaaaaand, ta da!” She stepped away from him with a flourish, skipping over to his horn-backed throne surrounded by the vast majority of his unique citizens.

He blinked for a second, taking in the state of things. There were strings of lights with a least a third of the bulbs missing and another third inoperable strung about the room. Streamer and balloons, which Sarah must surely have provided, dangled from the shelving, skulls, and sconces that lined the walls. Three green little creatures stepped forward and sprayed him with some kind of colored, sticky string from cans that they brandished proudly; a few others around the room blew into obnoxious noise-makers. Ludo, the great beast, led an off-beat chorus of, “SURPRISE!” that echoed off the sandstone bricks. There was a giant banner strung up behind his normally-regal throne that read, “HapPEe bErTH day” in colorful crayon on sheets of parchment and tied with bright red yarn.

His gaze found Hoggle grudgingly in attendance, hiding at the back of the crowd and staring at his feet. “ _You_ ,” Jareth growled.

“I ain’t got nothin’ to do with this,” Hoggle mumbled defensively.

“I told you he wouldn’t like it,” Maria’s voice floated from the archway at the foot of the stairs off to his left. She was grinning like an idiot, clapping chalk dust off of her hands.

Jareth looked from his mother to his partner, the latter of which wearing an absolutely shameless grin of triumph.

“You, Mother?” he said, slightly aghast.

“Well, I certainly had a hand in it. It has been a century or two, after all. This was your lovely Sarah’s idea,” she waved an amused hand toward the brunette standing behind his throne.

“Will you please just sit down, you whiny baby.” Sarah’s voice was stern, but edged with suppressed laughter.

He rolled his eyes and reluctantly waded through the horde of goblins to his seat, grumbling the entire time and glaring daggers. He was certain that just ten minutes prior he was hopelessly devoted to this stubborn human woman, but now, with his very world beginning to deteriorate around him, he questioned everything. Even his own mother betrayed him so harshly. He settled uncomfortably and looked over his shoulder at Sarah with a scowl.

She laughed heartily. She gestured at him to face his crowd of citizens as they looked at him expectantly.

The theatrical fox stepped forward, waving his scepter about as he declared, “Your Majesty! My Lady has so graciously arranged this gathering in your honor. It is customary to present thee with gifts, and so without further ado…” he shuffled off with a bow as a procession of creatures-of-various-sizes paraded themselves in front of him. They each bowed sloppily at the foot of his steps before very proudly proffering a myriad of gifts. Veritable junk, really, but things they would undoubtedly find value in.

Twenty minutes left him with quite the pile of… stuff. There was a collection of mangled soda can tabs (some of which were rather rusted, indicating it was a lengthy personal collection), a few socks in various colors with large holes in either the toes or heels, a couple strings of metallic-painted plastic beads, some shiny 20-sided dice, and an empty glass milk jug. A comparatively large fellow ambled forward last, his horned hat sitting crooked over one eye and beaming. He held out a fistful of old lollipops, most of them missing chunks and all of them coated in dirt and/or lint. Jareth took them hesitantly and with a nervous grimace.

Ludo shuffled his way over and raised a now largely-crushed and loosely constructed circlet of flowers to plop it on Jareth’s head. “King, fwend! Ludo happy King happy.” He managed a smile that squeezed his large eyes shut and bared a mouthful of tusks.

Jareth looked out at the gathered crowd of citizens a little uncertain of what to say or do. He chewed the inside of his lip and looked askance at Sarah.

She just smiled softly at him as she righted the crown on his head. “I know you hate your birthday, but I really couldn’t help myself.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but she held up a hand to stop him.

“Don’t worry,” she soothed. “I told them it would be just this once. The party was their idea, but maybe I shouldn’t have let them pick their own presents.” She pulled a comical frown, looking questioningly at the pile of things below his feet. “One more, though,” she said, pulling a small box from behind her back and holding it out to him.

He took it suspiciously, eyeing her as he lifted the top. Inside was a large black oval barrette, coated in a dark glitter.

“That used to be mine, but I fancied it up a little. That’s a rather expensive glitter. Martha Stewart’s craft line, no big deal. Only the best for a sparkly king.” She yelped loudly as she was suddenly yanked over the arm of his throne and across his lap, her legs kicking out over the side wildly.

“Remind me to bog you later for this,” he growled at her before bursting into a laugh that cut through the silence. After a moment, he looked around the room expectantly. “Well…? Laugh,” he said with a smile. The room erupted into laughter and rackous noise.

**Author's Note:**

> Why yes, she did regift her big black 80s barrette after coating it in over-priced craft supplies (that she totally used a coupon for).


End file.
